A loss beyond words

We lost a student this week. He shot himself. He was actually on campus Monday to pick up his brother and then went home and blew off his head. There is no nice way to say that. He's gone. It's irrepairable.

Gabiden Kourman.

I taught him. He was on my math team. He was quite and intense even in the 8th grade. Still waters run deep. In high school, he stood up in Bible and said that he didn't believe in Jesus, in God, that he'd never believed. Students responded in all kinds of ways. The usual array from disbelief to trying to sway him to being mean. He later recanted saying that he was only trying to get them to think about what they believed. He was so close to himself, it's hard to know what his real intent was.

He was an excellent student. He loved math, he loved writing, he loved books. I heard that he'd said the pressure was too much. He was a freshman.

His 7th grade brother found him.

As mad as I got over the dismissal of David last year, I do know without a doubt that he would not have handled chapel today like Roger did. I do know that students have heard the plan of salvation over and over and over again this year. No one can leave Calvary Baptist Day School this year and say, "But how was I to know the way to heaven?" They know. Our walk through Romans has plainly and clearly shown our sin in Adam and the redemption in Jesus Christ.

While this is tragic beyond words, it is amazing to see God's hand, His placement of people, to know He is working.

I am heartbroken and yet awed in His presence.