The Drawing Power of God

Because I do not mention God in every entry does not mean his presence is not always there. It is. He has sustained me in ways I cannot fathom. When I give Ron credit, I am crediting God for placing Ron in my life. Please know that!

I accepted Christ as my Savior as a child, but as a child, time is meaningless. I did not have role models. My parents did not go to church until we moved to Houston and then going to church meant working at church - fulfilling roles - doing the jobs assigned. Going to church never meant worship. Every church had a myriad of things wrong with it. Every staff member, like every friend, was perfect until they were not.

I left home as soon as I could. I left church right after. I was rebellious. But God was not nearly as finished with me as I was with him. I knew something was desperately wrong. I was empty. And as much as I wanted to escape my parents, I was pulled to them like the old proverbial moth to a flame. They were going to Tallowood, so I decided to go there too.

An amazing thing happened. During the invitation, I felt the God's draw. Now the only way to respond that I knew of was to walk the aisle but I became physically ill. Should I go despite the strong desire to be sick or should I stay in my seat. I felt the drawing. I had to go despite the physical discomfort. As soon as I started to walk, the physical discomfort left and a renewed life began. A time of rededication. A time of yearning, of learning, of surrender. I understood what Paul meant when he talked about the carnal man and the new man. In this period, I became active in the singles department. I met other young people who loved the Lord. I met Ron. In my mind, the two events are intertwined -- meeting Ron and surrender to Christ.

But I hadn't surrendered everything. I just thought I had.